October 9th, 2007

My brother just called

He said to come to Dallas ,like, NOW.
He wouldnt say why. He said just do it.
I say no. I have to work.
He says he'll pay for the trip. He'll pay for missed work.
I say I cant do that and ask what's wrong.
Cant he just want to see his brother?
I say no. He says you're just staunch arent you.
I say yes. He says he has always admired that about me.

He sounds very very drunk. He's in a bar.
When I ask again what's wrong he says he's just very very tired. so tired.
I tell him to take time off and just go rest at mom's in Houston.

He tries one more time and I say it's not about the money. He says I've always hated him because he as money. I say no I dont really care about your money.

Everytime, I wonder is this going to be it. Is this the time he does himself in.
Everytime, it bothers me that he's doing this. That he's so selfish. That I'm not bothered that I'm being selfish either. That until he does it, I won't care. Well not enough to matter.
What if I could save him.

I can't save people. But if i'm in the will, I can spend his money.