Felipe Campos (egoiste) wrote,
Felipe Campos
egoiste

Butt hygiene for teh gays

Now, you'd think that in a town rumored to be bottom-heavy, you could find some answers. But no, I was much daunted.

Being of sound mind and body, the gays often come to ask me for esoteric information. The question of the day was, where to buy a male "douche". An enema. The popular brand for men is Fleet. We could use a femenine one, but without the additives they put in them, because they are too acidic, and too, from what I've gathered, they are not exactly pleasant for insertion into an ass, being made to go inside women's nether regions.

So I'm asking people I know to be bottoms, or bottom-ish, and they have no idea. They are either professional bottoms and have special shower attachments, or use other means of which I have no clue. Or they buy them, but for propriety's sake, they buy them in small-bulk online.

I asked Back2life, but he was on the phone with his mother. As a joke, I told him to ask her if she knows.

(09:36:38) bo: She said you might find a "slightly like-new" one in the same place you'll probably find Jimmy Hoffa.
(09:37:07) bo: OK, I love my mom to death, but her grasp of making gay-themed jokes like that is getting to be a bit too errie.
(09:37:14) bo: Should be done with her in like 5.
(09:37:22) EgOiStE: lol i cant believe you asked her

his Answer
(09:46:18) bo: When I worked there, they carried two Fleet styles, one for water-based cleansing, and another for a specifically-internal cleansing fluid that's supposed to work better than water...
(09:47:30) EgOiStE: you have done your city a great service
(09:47:59) bo: Wonderful

Another blogger who shall remain nameless, relented and told me his secret tool. Now, while I was very familiar with this item, I wasnt sure you could just go to the HEB or Walgreen's to buy them, since I'd only seen them in, how shall we say, Men's Fitness Clubs, gay specific. Not exactly in this style, but you get the drift.




It's, as my secret blogger imagined to me, intended for ear cleaning.

I happened to read an overexuberant butt-care person's article last week, and his recommendation for a regular Fleet job was to lube the insertion up a little for comfort's sake. Oh, and unless you want to deal with aftermath, toss the laxative. They had a similar ear cleaning thing for enemas in the article as well, but I wanted to cover all the bases I could.

So there you have it. Share the wealth.

Bottoming is so high maintenance. It's no wonder they're drama queens. It's endemic. No pun intended =]

Edit: No sphincters were harmed in the creation of this blogposting.
Tags: buttsecks
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  • My tweets

    Thu, 00:36: OMG! https://t.co/y9N2gpHF7c

  • My tweets

    Sat, 15:05: ask me how ridiculous I am for trying to get a State inspection today on a holiday weekend

  • My tweets

    Fri, 12:46: can someone teach me how to speak with a mexican accent like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green? I’m kind of a #pocho