Felipe Campos (egoiste) wrote,
Felipe Campos

overheard in atx

Rob: I like your disco glasses
Felipe: really? i just got them at the 7-11. They matched. But I got them in bright sunlight and didnt realize they were this dark. I cant see people's faces.
It's like I am on gay.com still!

I talked to an old old friend who I have wanted nothing to do with much cuz he's been looking like he's falling apart. He seemed lucid so I talked to him this week. How have you been? etc etc
Me being the indelicate kind, I segued. Was it my imagination cuz you were really drunk. DID you tell me you only had six months to live over six months ago?

No. It was not my imagination. He's dying. His skin is becoming covered in tumors and he said the colostomy bag was not pretty either. Some of his friends have abandoned him because he refuses treatment. It's incurable, so he doesnt see a reason to waste money for a few more months.

I just laughed with him the whole time. Let him talk. Nobody understands him and why should they? I told him I understood just a little bit cuz I died 7 years ago and I didnt want my mother or my friends to see me and he berated me for not telling him I was hospitalized til 3 days after the fact. But at least after saying that he knew I did know why he didnt want even his father to know his condition. He sighed with a smile and thanked me for listening with a smile. He was bursting to go pee but hadnt because it was the first time he'd just let go and talked about it for such a lengthy time with anyone. I said goodnight and hugged him and he felt like a bag of bones.

I'm almost 40. It doesnt get better from here out. People will leave. People will get sick. I just have to remember that if you've lived a full life, I will have no sadness for you when you go. And I will thank you for teaching me that a true friend doesn't judge. He just loves.

PS: my friend Finis' dad died the next day. Peace be with you Finis.

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