Felipe Campos (egoiste) wrote,
Felipe Campos
egoiste

Facebookers can bypass this. 25 random things about me. posterity.

25 Random Things about Me. Caveat Temptor.


1. When I was a Freshman at UT I was adopted by three Black girls. I went to Soul Night every other thursday. I joined the Innervisions Blackness Gospel Choir. I Went to every black greek party and step show.

2. My hometown had a KKK headquarters down the street. I never had a Black schoolmate until I was a freshman in high school.

3. One of my best friends got suckerpunched in the face by a bagpiper in the Queens Royal Regiment on Parade at a Norwegian Christmas party at Scholz's Bier Garten and he cracked his head on the pavement. All his family and his friends were there when he died in the hospital. I drank myself into a stupor from that day in...1993? til the day I had to sober up 8 years and 7 months ago.

4. When I was hospitalized for acute pancreatitis, the reason I had to quit drinking, I didn't tell ANYONE where I was for 3 days (except work), because I was mortified with myself. The only reason I did was because when my friend died, he told the nurses not to contact his parents and they got there too late. I didnt want that to happen to my loved ones so I let people know where I was.

5. I have been an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church for nearly 2 decades. I married myself to Michael Hernandez aka Paisano2k 10 or 11 years ago, way before gay marriage was trendy.

6. The only reason I came out to my family was because all my christmas presents got stolen from my car and I had nothing to give them. I cried like a baby and got drunker as a skunk and Michael drove me home for Christmas because I was too drunk to drive. Before we left, still crying, I came out to my mother on the phone. She asked me why NOW. I told her I had never felt so badly in all my life, so if she decided she couldnt love me anymore, it wouldnt be so bad because I'd already felt as bad as I'd ever feel again.

7. I remember always being rebellious, as early as the age of 4. In sentiment but never in deed.

8. My rebellious nature prevented me from coming out to even myself til I was 29. I was called sissy or faggot since I was about 4 or 5 and I refused to let them be right.

9. It's that same stubbornness that has kept me sober. 3 doctors told me I couldnt do it without AA or some form of rehab. Fuck you.

10. I am usually surprised that people like me.

11. I have 213 or so facebook friends and still claim to have no friends...and my friends let me.

12. Those people who dislike me or hate me tell my friends all my bad qualities...And my friends usually laugh and agree. They are also more likely to judge you poorly instead because of it.

13. One of my favorite quotes about me was "I don't like what you say, but I like that you say it."

14. I am a computer nerd but I don't like talking about computers. People are often surprised when they find out what I do. I leave work at work.

15. I coordinated this city's grassroots Matthew Shepherd vigil at the Capitol steps. Granted I was drunk and I just hate whiners, so I said fuck yall, I'll do it. My rebellion has its flipsides.

16. I think I will die without ever having known true love.

17. Lots of people find me intimidating because they subconsciously think I can see through all their facades.

18. I taught myself to read when I was 4 by reading the Houston Chronicle. Not because I was precocious, but because I was imitating my parents' behavior, parents who ignored me.

19. I met one of my facebook friends about 4 years ago on Halloween and it was love at first sight. I saw him and he saw me and both our breaths stopped. Our relationship never bore fruit because he doesnt return phone calls and because I was afraid of his penis.

20. I made fun of Tom Ellis for loving to talk about himself in his list, but my alias is Egoiste.

21. My favorite thing in life is schadenfreude. People often assume it's because I'm cruel, and I really really can be, but really it's because I think we are all just animals trying to be bigger than ourselves, and life has a way of reminding us where our place is.

22. I hate the terms Hispanic and Latino. They were not in popular usage when I was growing up. I tell people if I am Hispanic, then they are English. I view those terms as culturally imperialistic "white out" used to gain cultural and political capital, usually by people who don't even represent me.

23. I think the greatest compliment that could be paid to me is "I know you" and it not just refer to mere acquaintance and a few quirks or mannerisms.

24. I refuse to tag anybody else cuz I find these things annoying but always read everyone else's because I'm nosy and have no life.

25. I once punched a hole in a bathroom wall with my legs trying to see if I could fellate myself. I freaked out and told the 5 guys who were in the apartment drinking and talking that I was having a troubling bowel movement and needed the leverage. They just laughed in commisseration and didnt even question it. FYI no success.



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    Sat, 15:05: ask me how ridiculous I am for trying to get a State inspection today on a holiday weekend

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    Fri, 12:46: can someone teach me how to speak with a mexican accent like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green? I’m kind of a #pocho

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